Glorious Insults from Golden Age of the English Language

Brilliant indeed!

Lady Astor: “If you were my husband I’d give you poison!”
Winson Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
Disraeli: “That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker

About Curzon

Lord George Nathaniel Curzon (1859 - 1925) entered the British House of Commons as a Conservative MP in 1886, where he served as undersecretary of India and Foreign Affairs. He was appointed Viceroy of India at the turn of the 20th century where he delineated the North West Frontier Province, ordered a military expedition to Tibet, and unsuccessfully tried to partition the province of Bengal during his six-year tenure. Curzon served as Leader of the House of Lords in Prime Minister Lloyd George's War Cabinet and became Foreign Secretary in January 1919, where his most famous act was the drawing of the Curzon Line between a new Polish state and Russia. His publications include Russia in Central Asia (1889) and Persia and the Persian Question (1892). In real life, "Curzon" is a US citizen from the East Coast who has been a financial analyst, freelance translator, and university professor; he is currently on assignment in Tokyo.
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6 Responses to Glorious Insults from Golden Age of the English Language

  1. Pingback: Glorious Insults | The Marmot's Hole

  2. fabius_maximus_cunctator says:

    Sir,

    Wonderful. Just two points: Redford is unworthy of the glorious company you have put him in. Talleyrand wd merit more, and in his own language. His comments do not translate well IMHO. Wd volunteer to provide at least half a dozen really good ones if you deem it worth yr while.

  3. Pingback: OneFreeKorea » The Funniest Thing I’ve Read All Year

  4. Jesus Reyes says:

    Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
    Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

  5. Joe says:

    Lots of great quotes from Sir Winston at http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill

    My favorites:

    - “In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.”

    - “The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.”

  6. colin syme says:

    Albert Einstein said; “Force always attracts men of low morality” when l heard that one the USA came to mind immediately!