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Younghusband
Author

Younghusband

Date

August 2nd, 2007

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Conan O’Brien Hates My Homeland

The concept:

Awhile ago, Conan did a bit where he showed fake Euro coins. One of those coins made fun of the Ukraine, which provoked a lot of angry letters. Here’s the interesting part: those letters were from the Ukraine. Conan had no idea that Late Night was aired in the Ukraine, and began to wonder where else he was on. You would think he could just ask NBC, but they won’t tell him, because then they’d have to pay him more. There is just one way to find out, and that is to viciously insult every nation in the world, and see which ones he gets letters from.

The result:

Afghanistan
The bad news is, there’s a new article about everyone farming opium.
The good news is, you can’t read.

Algeria
It took you eight years to beat France.

Canada
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!

China
If you’re gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.

Germany
The great 20th-century power that said, “Ditch Einstein, get Hasselhoff.”

Japan
Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters.

South Korea
Your biggest natural resource is coal, which gives dog a nice, smokey flavour.

Talk about Americans learning about globalization. Here ’s the full archive.

Comments to this entry

Mihnea Dumitru
August 2, 2007
3:22 pm
thankfully, we don't get him in Romania..
Adrian
August 2, 2007
5:12 pm
LOL. Perhaps he'll set up a website similar to the Horny Manatee site. You could put in your country of origin and immediately get insulted.
Dan tdaxp
August 2, 2007
7:34 pm
LOL!
Michael
August 3, 2007
2:10 am
He forgot Rwanda and the US (though the latter may have been the result of a mostly US audience).

I wonder what those would have been?
The Marmot’s Hole » How to Provoke Angry Letters
August 3, 2007
4:22 am
[...] Some of these are quite funny. (HT to Coming Anarchy) [...]
Noah Body
August 3, 2007
5:03 am
Hrm. Why does that list have Myanmar and Burma? So crappy they deserved two drubbings?
chriswaugh_bj
August 3, 2007
11:09 am
He forgot New Zealand. And Tonga, the Cook Islands, Niue, Tokelau, Kiribati, Tuvalu..... Dammit, is it so hard for the Pacific to get any respect?
Mihnea Dumitru
August 3, 2007
1:00 pm
Hey, there IS one for Romania. Kinda true, too :(
Michael
August 3, 2007
8:37 pm
Hmm, insults of the US (For the record, I'm American bred, born, and raised. I'm insulting my own country here).

"Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses. . . they're the only ones desperate enough to live here!"
"So fat, we need SUVs to carry us to the corner store!"
"Come see the wonders of the US of A! The Yellowstone Cauldera! The Cascadian and Hawaiian volcanoes! Tornado Alley! The recently rebuilt New Orleans. . . umm, never mind."

Any others? For that matter, do any of you from other countries want to try topping Conan ( you DO know your own country better than we do).
Aceface
August 4, 2007
9:12 am
Japan:
Last century we had entire Korea under our feet,This century,we are beatened in the football field by only a half of it.
chriswaugh_bj
August 8, 2007
11:27 am
Well, Michael, I'll have a go at topping Conan, especially because my country fell off his map:
New Zealand, where men are men and sheep are scared.
Alright, far from original, swap New Zealand for any province or region south of Kaikoura and you've got one of the more common jokes of the south.
Tokelau/Kiribati/Tuvalu: Enjoy the last few years your country has above water.