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Curzon
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Curzon

Date

August 7th, 2006

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Fear and Loathing at the Jersey Shore

I leave for Japan in just a few hours; I spent my last day in the US down at the Jersey shore with friends and family. We had a wonderful time: the waves were great and the weather was beautiful. For a moment, I felt sad to be leaving. At least until we wandered down to the boardwalk.

I haven’t been to the boardwalk since high school, and now I know what kept me away. I felt bewildered amongst the legions of tattooed frat-boys and tubby g-stringed girls. The fusion cuisine is some of the worst in the world (see final photo). Americans are now so universally fat that no one is ashamed to let it all hang loose. Yes, Jersey boardwalk culture is America at it’s worst: a circus of ethnically indistinguishable lard buckets chugging high-fructose corn syrup beverages at tail-gate parties out of their Hummers. Americans, welcome to your future.

Words can only tell so much. Enjoy the photos below.

America, I love you. But you sure are weird. (And yes, it’s going to feel very good to be back in Japan.)

Comments to this entry

Catholicgauze
August 7, 2006
4:56 am
Federated States of Micronesia has an obesity rate of about 85%. Just remember Curzon, you could have been there.
kyochan
August 7, 2006
5:29 am
From the looks of the photos, it looks like you were at Seaside Heights. True, that place does look like a bit of the sideshow, but hardly the representation of the Jersey Shore. I was down in Manahawkin yesterday and there were plenty of beautiful people (probably because they're also stinkin' rich). Alas, obesity is the price of prosperity and globablization. I see the obesity rate of the rest of the world catching up to America's in the future.
Nathan Hamm
August 7, 2006
6:23 am
Thank you for reminding me of how glad I'm am to not be living so near there in one of those delightful cities where these folks autumn, winter, and spring.
Kirk H. Sowell
August 7, 2006
9:23 am
Curzon, I would say that from your writing style you are clearly reading way too much Kaplan, but that wouldn't be an insult here I suppose. This post reminds me of Empire Wilderness. Do you read a little RDK every night before going to sleep?

Well, look at photo no. 4 - they are proud to be American, but not proud enough to fly the national flag I suppose. I was assuming that it was New Jersey's flag, but a quick google showed it to look like this. What flag is that with all the stars and a single wide, solid white and red stripe? A defective U.S. flag perhaps?

Maybe these overweight Jersey types need to walk on down and check out USFlag.org.
Chirol
August 7, 2006
10:15 am
I think Curzon is simply experiencing reverse culture shock and the serious depression and cynicism that goes with. All of us who've lived abroad for longer periods of time get this.

Sometimes I think the most patriotic and nationalistic Americans are the ones who prefer to be abroad. Look at our Victorian heros. Staunch imperialists, yet all spend considerable amounts of their life abroad and spent their time at home thinking/writing/working on foreign related subjects.
Sean
August 7, 2006
11:22 am
Kirk: LOL!
J.Kende
August 7, 2006
1:12 pm
Hey now, a quick trip up the coast to NYC reveals much thinner and more attractive feasts for the eyes. Sure, NYC is the ultimate international city but our metro area does account for 7-8% of the entire US population. So yes, I share your depression over the Jersey Shore, but all isn't so bad (or fat) in the States...
Joe
August 7, 2006
1:27 pm
I'm recalling a conversation I had with someone in a bar in Tokyo a few nights ago...

HIM: Singapore, man, I miss Singapore.
ME: Why's that?
HIM: Tits. They have tits!
mike
August 7, 2006
5:31 pm
Actually, obesity rates in America are only slightly above that of Europe. It's a bit fashionable for educated, wealthy Americans to bemoan the fatness of America -- especially after returning from touring Europe (which is more common than touring Asia). But that comes from a selection bias.

When they tour Europe they are mainly in the central cities, where the population has self-selected for youth, wealth, and health. The suburbs of Europe are just about as fat and sedentary as America - and that's where most people live.

If you wander around Manhattan you'll find a much lower obesity rate than a suburban Wal-mart for the same reasons - Manhattanites are self-selected for youth, wealth, and health.

I don't know the Jersey shore well, but other beaches in the South tend to attract certain demos. The poorer, less classy beaches are always fatter. The more exclusive, rich beaches have fewer (if any) tacky t-shirts and fewer obese people. The beaches develop a reputation and the people then sort themselves out by class and income. So it's hard to judge 'America' by any particular beach.
germanicus
August 7, 2006
6:18 pm
Here in the imperium capital--Washington, DC area-one can see a lot of blubber wandering around. HOWEVER, that is greatly offset by the seemingly limitless number of nubile lasses out jogging on the various bike paths in the area. The chap in Singapore ought to be here if he wants to see a great purfusion of jiggling mannery glands swinging hither and yon as their owners pass along. DC summers are hot and humid thus contributing to the pleasant scene of the nubile ones out and about in the scantist of attire.
Rommel
August 7, 2006
7:50 pm
germanicus - same goes for Texas

And I despite our reputation for being "big", I'd say Texas has some of the top hotties around. This does not apply to Houston however (the sweaty choad of Texas).
Richard
August 7, 2006
8:08 pm
I couldn't agree with you more!!!! I happen to LIVE at the Jersey shore, Atlantic City, AND I am an avid photog. I am appalled at the overweight people I see, especially the women/girls. You are also right in saying they have no shame in displaying their flabby bodies
And is there anybody out there that doesn't have a tatoo?
jon
August 7, 2006
8:34 pm
As a life long Jersey boy myself, I must step in to defend my home state. There are many overweight people who feel that they should show whatever flab hangs out at any time. However, many of the people at the Jersey shore are not from New Jersey. They are actually from places like Staten Island and also Long Island. The Jersey shore is the only "traditional" board walk beach left in the area. Most of Long Island is just beach, with no boardwalk or entertainment.

And at the very least I don't have any tattoos.
Chirol
August 7, 2006
8:40 pm
Richard: While Americans may call them "tramp stamps" you'd perhaps be interested to know the Germans call them Arschgeweih which means "ass antlers"
Carlos
August 7, 2006
11:13 pm
>>Yes, Jersey boardwalk culture is America at it's worst: a circus of ethnically indistinguishable lard buckets chugging high-fructose corn syrup beverages at tail-gate parties out of their Hummers.

Wait, so should the ethnic types wear an "ethnic costume" so you can pick them out? Should they shun english for their "real language"?

Heaven forbid you not be able to tell a dominican from a puerto rican, haitian, or jamaican at first sight!
Sonagi
August 8, 2006
1:47 am
Ah, the American obsession with ethnic and racial identities. A Dominican colleague commented in the lunchroom one day that in her native country, nobody uses black, white, or other racial terms because almost everybody is mixed. When she came to the States, she felt she had to declare a racial identity and chose to become African-American. Another colleague was curious about the racial identity of a mixed-looking teacher at another school and asked the woman point-blank, "What is she?" Interesting way to phrase the question, isn't it?
Justin
August 8, 2006
4:11 am
*Sushi & BBQ* says it all.
lirelou
August 8, 2006
7:45 am
Sonagi, Don't be fooled by the apparent color-blindness of the Caribbean Hispanic cultures. El que no tiene dinga, si tiene de mandinga, but those cultures are hardly color blind. First, as a general rule, lighter means richer. Second, watch how abuelita interacts with her lighter colored grandchildren versus the darker ones. Hispanic racism is more subtle in that it is generally based upon a personal preference. It's no accident that the last nation to outlaw slavery in the Americas was among the most mixed - Brazil.
Puck
August 8, 2006
9:12 am
I leave for Google in just a few clicks; I spent my last site in the .com down at the Coming Anarchy. I had a wonderful time: the layout was great and the links were beautiful. For a moment, I felt sad to be leaving. At least until I wandered down to the Kaplan inspired posts.

I haven't been to the Coming Anarchy since Sunday, and now I know what kept me away. I felt bewildered amongst the legions of monocle-wearing elitists and arrogant Kaplan jockriders. The half assed analysis is some of the worst on the Internet (see previous post: Mel Gibson Launches Rockets into Israel). Kaplan fans are now so universally hubristic that no one is ashamed to study a snapshot of a subculture within the U.S. and draw vast, Reverse-Malthusianistic, cross-culture conclusions from it. Yes, the Well-Travelled-as-a-Moral-and-Intelligent-Superior culture is America at it's worst: an ivory tower of Marco Polo wannabes writing vast tracts of haphazard faux-pragmatism whilst circle jerking to the theorizing and news of murder and warfare. Americans, welcome to your future.

Words can only tell so much. Enjoy the original post above.
Joe
August 8, 2006
9:17 am
Now, now, I'm sure that's not what Curzon meant--he's likely to end up with half-Japanese kids, after all...
Curzon
August 8, 2006
10:38 am
I've arrive safely in Japan, and it would appear I have much to respond to:

Catholicgauze: Fat is considered a trait of beauty in many Polynesian island nations, including most famously Fiji. In today's America, it's typically a sign of poverty and the inability to care for yourself. See also my response to Mike.

Sir I. V. Chirol: Too true, brother. "The Traveler's Curse"... that should be my next post.

Kirk: Empire Wilderness is great -- but I haven't read it since 2002. Regardless, it's no secret to anyone here that Kaplan has greatly influenced my writing and thinking. The "Proud to be American" photo was just to show the fat chick next to the sign (although she's leaning over and obscuring the massive proportions of her belly in the shot).

Mike: Obesity rates in the US may not be that much higher than Europe, but the actual medical definition of obesity is very strict -- you only have to be a few pounds over thin to be obese. Look past the numbers: in America, our fat people are F A T.

Richard & Jon: I call a few places my "hometown. Like you guys, Jersey is one of them. I don't think my post was much of a value judgment as an sociological/anthropological observation.

Songai: In what way was I "obsessed" with racial identity? I merely noted that ethnic origin was indistinguishable. Compared to where I was living in cosmopolitan New York, where many "preserve" their ethnic origins to such a point where you can often tell where someone is from at a glance, this stuck out. At the Jersey shore, someone with dark skin could be Mexican, Sicilian, or Thai.

Puck: Comment and leave an email address and I'd respond. Certainly you shouldn't feel bewildered reading this post, as most commenters find much with which to disagree in my writing.
bp32
August 8, 2006
12:40 pm
As I have long said, Jersey is the center of civilization--resistance is futile. Embrace it. :)
Sonagi
August 8, 2006
12:53 pm
@Lirelou: Yes, I'm aware of the more subtle manifestations of racism in the Caribbean and Latin America. My point is that here we have to declare ourselves a member of one group although some forms include the category "multiracial." I dislike the terms "white" and "black" especially, preferring to call myself simply "American," or if I must, "European-American."

@Curzon: I wasn't calling you obsessed; it was a general reference to American racial and ethnic identities. I wonder, though, if you would have written the same sentence about groups of white people who could be Irish, Russian, German, or Turkish. Your comments seem to reflect the assumption that ethnic=not white. You yourself stated in your reply:

At the Jersey shore, someone with dark skin could be Mexican, Sicilian, or Thai.
Sonny
August 8, 2006
3:57 pm
Curzon,

"ethnically indistinguishable" as opposed to "ethnically distinguishable"? Would you want people to be walking around wearing "traditional costumes"? Ethnically indistiguishable to who? Does it matter that much? I can tell you the difference between a Cuban, a Boricua, a Mexican and a Dominican as soon as they open their mouths if not sooner. Maybe the Mexicans could be wearing sombreros and the Boricuas pavas (our version of sombreros) and machetes to make it easier for people to tell us apart.
Elizabeth
August 8, 2006
5:26 pm
Some of those pictures are absolutely nauseating.

"At the Jersey shore, someone with dark skin could be Mexican, Sicilian, or Thai."
Or all three put together. That's the beauty of it.
Dr. Alfred Russel Wallace
August 8, 2006
8:29 pm
I think Lord Curzon is suffering from 'premature curmudgeonhood' - the Jersey shore brings out the best in most visitors, and the fact that some of us are a little plump shouldn't stop us having a good time. My experience is that there are plenty of beautiful bodies too.... and all seem welcome.
Mike
August 9, 2006
3:18 am
Last picture: Fryed (sp) Oreos?! Good christ, the apocalypse is nigh.