Colonize Nepal!

The West must step in and take control of Nepal! Though politics is usually the study of picking the lesser evil, I’d like to propose my own to Nepal’s continuing anarchy. When it comes to choosing between the Maoists or the King, most debates end up going nowhere with misguided idealists attacking the King’s autocratic rule and forgetting the Maoists daily atrocities and the lessons from Cambodia. Realists acknowledge the King is the worst thing for the Nepalese, except for the Maoists and thus are left with supporting him. Yet, what would a third solution look like?

Firing up Coming Anarchy’s Wayback machine, we’re whisked back in time to the Philippines under the Marcos regime in the 80s. On November 3rd 1985, Ferdinand Marcos, then dictator of the Philippines, announced a general election to be held and dismissed claims of past election fraud as “silly”Â? and that he was ready for a fair one. Through considerable US pressure and assistance of the opposition as well as a US delegation of election monitors, Marcos was eventually forced to step down as his attempts at election fraud were exposed.

Behind the scenes, the United States decided Marcos had to go. Through pressure, and a sweet deal allowing him to keep his looted millions and fly off to Hawaii, Marcos peacefully left and moved to Honolulu. With mass demonstrations in Nepal against the King and the majority of the country under Maoist control, King Gyanendra has painted himself into a corner. My solution looks something like this:

1) The US (with preferable EU, UN and Indian backing) offers the King a similar sweet deal. He keeps his money, and anything he can fit on the next plane out of Kathmandu. He’s offered exile and immunity from prosecution in his choice of countries (US, Switzerland etc.). He also can also go down in history for helping save Nepal instead of his harsh governing. This is mostly behind the scenes.

2) After “consulting” his advisors and a UN delegation, he “decides” to step down and turn the country over to the United Nations (setting up a kind of UN protectorate like in Kosovo). The UN receives much of the credit and immediately dispatches a peacemaking force to Nepal composed of European and Indian soldiers.

3) With Nepal now under international interim rule, the Maoists are forced to make a tough decision. With the King gone and no legitimate excuse to continue their reign of terror, they must either lay down their arms and become a political party or officially become international “terrorists” of sorts.

4) The UN looks good and repairs its tarnished reputation somewhat. With the King voluntarily giving up power, the international community will be under intense pressure to send troops, supplies and money. The US chalks another one up for democracy and successfully outsources shrinking the Gap to others while achieving a fabulous victory. Both China and India are happy to have one less war on their borders.

Though convincing rulers to simply give up power seems unlikely, considering King Gyanendra doesn’t have much of it in the first place only lends credence to my plan. While I believe he can be successfully bribed into exile, convincing the international community to clean up Nepal will be the real challenge, especially if the insurgents continue their war. Even though UN interventions such as in Bosnia and Kosovo are still unresolved, the countries are both stable, relatively peaceful and finally have a shot at a real future. Nepal would be much better in a Kosovo-esque limbo than it is now.