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Curzon
Author

Curzon

Date

February 9th, 2006

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The New Rome?

This must be one of the funnest comparative timelines I’ve ever seen: a side-by-side comparison of the history of the United States of America v.s. the Republic (and then Empire) of Rome!

I’ve heard some feverish and desperate lefties cite “undeniable parallels” between modern and ancient events to conclude that 9/11 is the first barbarian invasion. Bollocks, says this guy. Rome wasn’t built in a day and didn’t fall in one either.

Sure, Rome fell—after about a thousand years. At that rate, the United States will survive well into the second half of our new millennium. Woohoo! USA! USA! USA! Sorry. The point I should be making is that it’s a mistake to cram the thousand year rise and fall of the Roman Empire into the four (or eight) years of the Bush administration. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can quote me on that.

The 21st century is a particularly fun read, and makes me wonder how right he’ll be. Read it. Really.

Comments to this entry

CTDeLude
February 9, 2006
6:02 pm
That was golden.

Especially liked how incestous all our current leaders become in the future.
Californian Sojourn
February 9, 2006
6:05 pm
America and Rome: The Parallels And How It Really Will Go Down...

This, is just great. Lays down what the US as the Roman Empire would look like AND outlines the blueprint for the POTUS to become Emperor. Perfect. Tip of the hat to Coming Anarchy, one of my favorite sites to
Chirol
February 9, 2006
6:43 pm
When Bush goes to capitol hill and makes the senate pledge allegiance to his horse, I'll be a believer!
Alec
February 9, 2006
7:53 pm
What about a comparison to the Dutch empire then? A country that basically controlled trade and the banking system of Western Europe. We can easily draw parallels to America, which I believe is as much an economic empire as military. (And what about the other 10 or so Western empires -- or dominant Western countries -- we've seen: Alexander's Greece/Macedonia, Spain, Portugal, the Dutch, Great Britain Napoleonic France, Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia).
Dan tdaxp
February 9, 2006
7:53 pm
Taft Adams is defeated by Kennedy Clinton Roosevelt and George Bush Clinton at the Battle of Damascus. They pick some other guy and form the Second Trilateral Commission to run things


LOL!
Dan tdaxp
February 9, 2006
7:57 pm
PS: Interestingly, the post-Congress Eastern United States are ignored, as well as the StarTurk StarSultunate of Amuhrika, the Holy American Empire (a secularist australian commonwealth), and of course the forgotten Republic of Amouricana, on the banks of the Milky Way.
Jing
February 10, 2006
2:17 am
Hilarious, but to nitpick, the author has a somewhat Rome-biased view of the origins of second Punic War. Saguntum was south of the Ebro and in the Carthaginian sphere. It can be argued that the Romans deliberately allied with them, in spite of readily being aware of this, in order to provoke a fight with Carthage.
Mi-Hwa
February 10, 2006
10:18 am
The Roman Empire provided the foundation for Western Civilization by defeating barbarism. The American Empire provided the foundation for modern civilization by defeating bad ideologies. America defeated fascism in World War II and Soviet Communism in the Cold War. In the 21st Century, the challenges for America are to defeat terrorism from Islamic countries, and contain Chinese communism. The American Empire is going to need cooperation from its allies to accomplish this.
Curzon
February 10, 2006
10:24 am
Mi-Hwa: what about when our allies refuse to go along? Swallow them up into the federation that is the USA ala the Roman Empire?
Chirol
February 10, 2006
11:57 am
Curzon: That's assuming that we actually want the Europeans =) With some language training and accent correction, I think most Americans would accept Canadians just fine, maybe the Danish, Spanish and Italians too. But French and Germans?
Mi-Hwa
February 10, 2006
2:05 pm
Curzon: Countries will cooperate with the American Empire to the extent of their self-interest. Most countries are against terrorism, so they are assisting America in the War on Terror. Many Asian nations are nervous about China's growing power, so they are relying on America to contain China.

Countries that don't cooperate with the American Empire may be left out in the cold, or worse.
felipe the latinlover
February 10, 2006
2:57 pm
well i hope no bother or ofend to somebody, but really i alway thought (well since i became a fan of the human history); but really always think the Usa was the second roman empire of the history, have many similar things both empires, but no like the document say, than you can to compare exactly the roman history with the Usa history. but really Usa is like a new roman empire, but adapted to the modern times.

but in thi smoment is no a full empire, only in economy way, i think will take 150 years maybe more, that Usa became a full empire. is mean still will happen a lot time before the republic became in empire.

about the Punic wars, really i think the first was the cold war; the socne punic wars is against islamic terrorism and marxist dictatorship in the third world; and the third punic war will be china but that would be in after 2050.

Postdata: first excused for my english, Second i hope dont offend anybody bye
Dr. Alfred Russel Wallace
February 11, 2006
6:14 pm
But it is true that the Romans made their soldiers dress up in girly skirts, causing their enemies to mock them, and thus making the Romans fight all the meaner (and more effectively).
Pink suspender belts for the marines????
lirelou
February 15, 2006
5:29 am
One irony in the "America as Rome" argument is that before 9/11, I only heard it from a certain class of born-again Christians who were sooo anxious to describe the perils of modern American life and how, like Rome, the country was soon going to fall apart and be conquered. You got the impression from these folks that they were going to stand by and urge the godless, communistic hordes on, and then cheer as the hordes dragged out the soddomizing, drug smoking, corrupt elites (Ted Kennedy and crew) and buried them alive in mass graves. Pity that neither side bothered to read Gibbons. But then, considering the monotonously boring tone in which Gibbons writes, maybe that's a good thing.
Mi-Hwa
February 15, 2006
1:41 pm
Many American Christians believe that the EU is the second Roman Empire, and that it will have a sinister role in fulfilling biblical prophecy. They don't want to think that their own country could be the new Roman Empire.