On October 11, Liberia will hold elections. The country is mired in poverty, the electorate is largely illiterate, but despite a few problems, elections look set to happen without too much chaos next week. Liberia sure has come a long way since the days of General Butt Naked.

Who the hell is that? Ahha, you haven’t heard of General Butt Naked! Liberia produced the most outrageously wild characters in its decade of war: General No-Mother-No-Father, General Peanut Butter, General Fuck-Me-Quick, General Dragon Master, General Housebreaker, and perhaps the most famous, General Butt Naked. This guy was particularly… erm… “visible.” He fought stripped to the buff save a pair of tennis shoes and a kalishnikov. Read a PG-13 rated version account of his drugged youth army here. I’ll give you a more brutal narrative of his work below.

Most of the aforementioned generals met a sticky end, but not General Butt Naked. Today, he’s found a more reputable line of work as a preacher. Yes, preaching the word of God on Broad Street in Monrovia is the Reverend Joshua Milton Blahyi.

The reverend is pretty honest about his former line of work. Just listen to this article recounting the general’s past:

He admitted to killing and ordering the killings of over 10,000 people and eating the hearts of some of his victims to solidify his charms and to fulfill the rules of his rituals… He said parts extracted from his victims were then sold on demand to traditional voodoo and witch doctors, who would in turn produce the necessary charms that were sold out to people who were seeking higher and public offices in Liberia.

Speaking of his reason to change careers, here’s what the now retired general had to say:

So, before leading my troops into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up, sacrifice a local teenager, drink their blood, then strip down to our shoes and go into battle wearing colourful wigs and carrying dainty purses we’d looted from civilians. We’d slaughter anyone we saw, chop their heads off and use them as soccer balls. We were nude, fearless, drunk and homicidal. We killed hundreds of people – so many I lost count. But in June last year God telephoned me and told me that I was not the hero I considered myself to be, so I stopped and became a preacher.

Maybe there’s hope for Africa after all.


COMMENTS / 11 COMMENTS

Blood Diamonds

(Curzon @ Coming Anarchy posts about Liberian militiamen largely responsible for that nation’s descent into utter anarchy)

Live From The FDNF added these pithy words on Oct 05 05 at 12:33 pm

[...] Liberia’s infamously violent and curiously titled warlords of the last decade—General Fuck-Me-Quick, General Dragon Master, and General Butt Naked—are being replaced by a new cadre of democratically elected leaders. Liberia held elections three days ago, and with no candidate holding a clear majority, a second round of voting will commence in a few weeks. The two final candidates will probably be King George and the Iron Lady. [...]

ComingAnarchy.com » Blog Archive » King George v.s. the Iron Lady added these pithy words on Oct 14 05 at 11:22 pm

[...] General Butt NakedKing George v.s. the Iron LadyNaked barbell chicken female hostage tattooOh! That’s rough!RDK – Imperial Grunts Audio Interview [...]

ComingAnarchy.com » Blog Archive » General Butt Naked is doing well and sends his regards added these pithy words on Aug 08 06 at 10:04 am

[...] to Eddie for the head’s up. ComingAnarchy’s favorite genocidal Liberian is making headlines [...]

ComingAnarchy.com » Blog Archive » Butt-Naked on Trial added these pithy words on Jan 22 08 at 7:12 pm

What the crap? That’s almost so random it’s hard to believe it’s true.

Peter added these pithy words on 03 Oct 05 at 10:00 pm

Highly doubtful peace holds…. in two-three years there will be more colorfully named generals.

Eddie added these pithy words on 03 Oct 05 at 10:38 pm

Eddie, you’ve been reading too much Robert Kaplan! ;)

But to be serious, you are almost 100% right…

BillyBob added these pithy words on 03 Oct 05 at 11:31 pm

The more I read about Liberia, the more confused and mind-boggled I become. This country flouts just about every assumption I had about American culture, human civility, race, cannibalism, and my own identity.

And I’m reading this at work. Talk about a productivity-killer!

Adamu added these pithy words on 04 Oct 05 at 7:04 pm

Liberia is in America?

J.Kende added these pithy words on 04 Oct 05 at 7:17 pm

I don’t know what to think anymore. Liberia has floored me.

Adamu added these pithy words on 04 Oct 05 at 8:19 pm

Think about what? Life? Humanity?

Curzon added these pithy words on 04 Oct 05 at 8:45 pm
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General Butt Naked

Posted on 03 Oct 05 by Curzon. Subscribe to follow comments on this post. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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