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Curzon
Author

Curzon

Date

August 20th, 2005

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An Articulation of Regime Change in North Korea

We’re dicks!

We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks!

And the Film Actors’ Guild!

…are pussies.

And Kim Jong Il!

… is an asshole!

Pussies don’t like dicks because puusies get fucked by dicks.

But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole…

is a dick.

with some balls.

The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t apporoporate…

and it takes a pussy to show ‘em that.

But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves.

Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes.

I don’t know much in this… crazy, crazy world…

but I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks…

and our pussies…

all covered in shit!

Comments to this entry

Chirol
August 20, 2005
2:20 pm
A surprisingly well said summary of international relations I found! God I love that movie.
Joe
August 20, 2005
2:24 pm
Curzon and I discussed this monologue while we were drunk one night in Tokyo. He looked it up online and we took turns trying to read it while keeping a straight face. Challenge yourself!
ron Patterson
August 20, 2005
3:58 pm
Well fuck this dick ! Put another two regiments in Korea, move bomber win in. Step up U-2 flyovers AND ANNOUCE ON A REGULAR BASIS EVACUTION ROUTS FROM sEOUL IN CASE OF WAR. PROMISE Japan and Taiwan missles and missle defense upgrades. Move another aircraft carrier into sea of Japan. Make sure China understands that if North Korea keeps dicking with nukes then we support Japan and Taiwan going nuclear. REGIME CHANGE!. YOU Give Murderers Nothing!!!
Gabriel Mihalache
August 20, 2005
6:32 pm
May I say, dear sir, that your proposal to fix all the world's problems with bi-curious anal sex is one that has my full support. Even so, I fear that you are forgetting that some assholes have dicks of their own... and even MIRVed ones! (Including ones hidden deep, deep, deep in their rocky mountains.)

Awesome movie, anyway... especially the Eiffel tower collapsing over the Louvre. :-)
maskull
August 20, 2005
8:03 pm
What is with the hilarious image?

http://www.mtv.com/shared/media/news/images/t/Team_America/sq_kim_jong_il.jpg

Costumed midget with mask & large glasses? I may have to re-use it as an avatar ... I guess it's true - "MTV: it's not just crappy music anymore ... "

But tens of thousands (?) more? have already discovered the joys of fucking dicks. With a simple surgical procedure, transformation ensues. What was outside is now inside. And "fuck this dick" becomes a real possibility. But probably only for trained professionals, and even then, only after completion of the Accredited Certification Training.

But for real, in N. Korea as in Iran, bunker busters are in order. As Moammar * can attest, the USAF makes house calls.

* 1) Muammar Qaddafi
2) Mo'ammar Gadhafi
3) Muammar Kaddafi
4) Muammar Qadhafi
5) Moammar El Kadhafi
6) Muammar Gadafi
7) Mu'ammar al-Qadafi
8) Moamer El Kazzafi
9) Moamar al-Gaddafi
10) Mu'ammar Al Qathafi
11) Muammar Al Qathafi
12) Mo'ammar el-Gadhafi
13) Moamar El Kadhafi
14) Muammar al-Qadhafi
15) Mu'ammar al-Qadhdhafi
16) Mu'ammar Qadafi
17) Moamar Gaddafi
18) Mu'ammar Qadhdhafi
19) Muammar Khaddafi
20) Muammar al-Khaddafi
21) Mu'amar al-Kadafi
22) Muammar Ghaddafy
23) Muammar Ghadafi
24) Muammar Ghaddafi
25) Muamar Kaddafi
26) Muammar Quathafi
27) Mohammer Q'udafi
28) Muammar Gheddafi
29) Muamar Al-Kaddafi
30) Moammar Khadafy
31) Moammar Qudhafi
32) Mu'ammar al-Qaddafi

The Kernel.