So I am on this Rappers = Bloggers hit, which I think is great coz I like both, and I stumble on this brilliant piece. An Oakland high school district had an ebonics translation competition where students were to translate the lyrics of a song by late rapper Notorious BIG aka Biggie Smalls. Apparently the winning translation “received the highest honors” (mad props maybe?). It offers some pretty hilarious reading. Here’s a sample on the house:

LYRICS:
First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies – playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks
Rings and watch filled with rocks

TRANSLATION:

As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.

If you would like to learn more, take the Wake Up Crew’s Ebonics Lesson.

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